Monthly Archives: February 2011

Cats > Babies

Yes, I said it. Cats are better than babies. In fact they are purrrrrfect children (pun intended). I know I am almost 30 and I know it’s the ‘circle of life’ or one of ‘life’s milestones’ or whatever you folks are calling it these days, but I am just not that into it. By ‘it’ I mean this baby craze that has officially taken over all of my friends, and I do mean all — friends from high school, college, grad school — everyone, and I do mean, EVERYONE is having a baby around me right now.

You response is probably, ‘hey, Ms. Bitter, why the sour grapes?’ But I am not bitter, I swear! I am not sour either. I am just more disappointed by how these beautiful, independent, smart women I know and love have digressed to only posting Facebook pictures of their babies (even their profile pictures are pictures of their babies!) and how every status, tweet, text message, voicemail message, word-that-comes-from-their-mouths is somehow, someway, baby related. What happened to the other things you cared about? You know, like politics, entrepreneurship, the economy, volunteering, philanthropy, friendships and just general relationships with other humans who speak in complete sentences and go to the bathroom on their own?

Is this what happens when you have children? Is the woman you worked hard to develop, grow and mature, the woman you’ve nurtured to become not just a star, but her own sun… Was she made only to become a moon (and not THEE moon, but I mean a less important moon, that revolves around Pluto — yes I know it isn’t a planet anymore) that orbits around a baby? Don’t get me wrong, I love children, I really do. I think they are one God’s greatest gifts, which is exactly what scares me the most. Am I going to become just like one of these women I speak of? Am I destined to be a moon one day?

This is why I love my cat. He totally rocks, he is an awesome companion, he is an independent spirit that doesn’t need me to love him (or write blogposts about him). He has proven on more than one occasion that I am free to space travel (as long as I leave him ample food and water) and he will be here to welcome me back with a lovely lap nap and purr. In terms of relationships with children, it really gets no better than this. Indeed, Cats > Babies. The more I think about it, maybe I am already one of those people, because I talk about my cat wayyyy too much. Maybe I am actually destined to be one of those crazy cat ladies…

And you have to know, I am no wanna-be Carrie Bradshaw, or her awesome friend Samantha. No, no, no, motherhood definitely has a place in my future. I just don’t want to lose myself, the woman I know, and my friends know and love in order to do it. But until I figure out the secret to keeping me, Cats > Babies.

It Goes Down Again at the Leadership Academy

News hit the net a few days ago that one of Lady O’s students at the Leadership Academy in Johannesburg, South Africa gave birth to a baby that was subsequently found dead in a plastic bag. It is not yet confirmed whether this baby was born dead or whether it died and the death was concealed. A very sad story indeed. Even sadder is the fact that this is not the first tragic story involving the Oprah Winfrey Leadership Academy — a school matron was accused of molesting students in 2009.

Now I know there are a ton of Oprah fans out there. In fact, I am close friends with some of them. I know plenty of the “I love Oprah, she is so amazing” and the “I want to be like Oprah when I grow up” and of course the “I would give my left arm to be in Oprah’s presence” types. So forgive me for confessing: I am not a fan. Don’t get me wrong, she has accomplished great things, her contribution to daytime television is unparalleled and she has given a great deal of cash to worthy organizations. Bravo Ms. Winfrey. But to be completely honest, I am not one of those people who live by the O-bible. I don’t really jive with the “Live your best life” or the “Learn from the Masters” mantras she pushes. The fact of the matter is, it is very easy for Oprah to claim this enriched life experience because she is rich and the greater fact is none of us regular-folk are likely to even come close to the life she leads.

But the real reason why I just can’t love Oprah the way her followers do is because, let’s face it, the woman has made a shit ton of money on the pain, failings, heartaches, injuries, and misfortunes of others. This is compounded by a superhero image she has created for herself. Having grown up in a poor family, with stories of misfortune that you wouldn’t believe, maybe I feel especially averse to her.

What is especially sad about the stories that have come from the Leadership Academy is these young women are there because of a promise of a better life, a brighter future. Given the stories that have come out of the Leadership Academy thus far, this future will be tarnished with some of the same evils they would have faced outside the doors of the Leadership Academy, maybe even worse.

While opening a school in Africa truly appeals to the liberal in all of us, it doesn’t come without an ego stroke, or two. And while the superhero receives the admiration and kudos, young women at the Leadership Academy are not having the positive experiences they’ve been promised.

Nothing is Ever Enough

When I look around at my closest friends, I can’t help but see how incredibly blessed we are. MBA’s, JD’s, MD’s, etc., all with great apartments in NYC, good jobs, and great friends to share our lives with.

But for some reason, we are all still unsatisfied with what we have. There must be a better job, a better boyfriend, a better apartment, a better LIFE, somewhere out there. Nothing is ever enough. Some might call this ambition. Some might call this greed.

I read an article today by a Life Coach who supported her two clients in achieving their dreams. One client thought that if she started her own business she would be more fulfilled. The other client felt that having a baby would be the realization of a lifelong dream. Both achieved these goals and are now more stressed than they were before. The entrepreneur can now bask her achievement but works 3x’s more than she did before and the new mom has to manage both the good and the challenging things that come along with motherhood.

Reading this article immediately reminded me of myself and my nearest and dearest. Why is it that we can’t just be satisfied with what we have? When will what we have be enough? Will it ever be enough? I am guessing the answer to this question is probably a resounding, ‘heck no’. I guess stories like the one from the Life Coach just reminds me that in the midst of my quest for the best life, I have to remind myself just how great my life is already.

NY Fashion Week

I love clothes. I am far from a fashionista, at least by New York City standards (though my boyfriend would say much to the contrary given I have claimed about 3/4 of our 1 New York City closet. But what does he know, a girl needs options!). In tribute to the city-wide holiday known as NY Fashion Week (Feb 10-17), here are a few of my favorite photos:






Happy Fashion Week Everyone! 🙂

The Stories I’ll Tell My Children

On February 16, 2011, Borders filed for bankruptcy and announced it would begin closing its stores. My boyfriend and I were on our way to dinner last night, when we passed a Barnes & Noble. We started chatting about whether B&N would be around in 5 or 10 years. True, the Nook has helped the company turn the page (ha! pun!) on the business of selling publications, but how long will it be before we have no use for paper-bound books?

The thing is, I LOVE books. You should see how I live. I live in a 700 sq ft apartment with a man and a cat, yet I have managed to dedicate about half of the living room to books (my boyfriend is an avid reader so he doesn’t complain, and my cat is an avid climber, so it’s a win for him as well). I understand the convenience of having an e-reader, carrying around 100 books in my purse sounds like an appealing proposition to me as well. But for some reason, I just cant get myself to purchase one of these gadgets.

E-readers are to me what computers and AOL dial-up were to my grandmother. My granny loved the ‘old’ way of communicating, you know calling someone on the phone and chatting for a half hour, writing a letter and dropping it in the mail. Sure, she played solitaire on the computer from time to time, but never took to the idea of speaking to her friend Ms. Gloria in a chat room (remember when people actually spent their time in chat rooms? Boy I am getting old). That’s how I feel about the e-reader, sure I will dabble on a friend’s iPad (I ❤ crazy birds), but I can’t see myself reading digital books.

I know some of you are probably thinking, girl, get with the program! Don’t get caught on the wrong side of the digital divide! But.I.just.can’t. Divide be damned, here I stand. So with Borders closing (Googling my nearest NYC storefront, so I can buy a new tower for my kitty), I feel a bit sad. Bookstores (and God forbid traditional libraries) may one day just be a term I will have to explain to my children, when they interrupt one of my old lady ‘when I was your age’ stories with a quizzical, “Mom, what’s a bookstore?”

But thanks to Amazon, they will at least know what book means… I hope… damn that Kindle.

I Didn’t Know I was Pregnant!

I have a confession to make… I can’t stop watching “I Didn’t Know I was Pregnant”. I mean, come on, really? You had no idea you were pregnant?

Now, I know some of you are intellectuals who are resolved to spend every waking moment doing something meaningful with your time, like reading A World Without Poverty, discovering world cuisines, or volunteering in at-risk communities, and would never waste your time on ‘reality’ dribble. TLC’s “I Didn’t Know I was Pregnant” is exactly what it sounds like. Women tell their stories of how they carried a baby full-term, and never knew they were preggo until they went into labor, some recall still not realizing it until the baby’s head crowned. Apparently this show has been airing for quite some time (I just joined the circus about a month ago). Crazy, I know.

Maybe most pregnancy symptoms can be explained away, maybe the morning sickness was from eating street meat everyday for 10 weeks, the baby kicking was indigestion, the swollen ankles were from those Beyonce freak’um heels you insisted on wearing 36-40 Saturday nights in a row… I guess it’s possible. My only question is how does someone rationalize the big growth in the abdomen area? I mean even if you don’t become HUGE, you’re still going to put on something solid in order to bring a full-term newborn (7-10 pounders even!) into the world.

Now, I don’t mean to sound judgmental. Truth be told, I’ve never been pregnant, so I really can’t stand as an authority figure on this phenomenon, and to be completely honest, if I were to become pregnant at this point in life, I’d probably go for a long trip down that river in Egypt. But, that is exactly what it is, right? Denial?

Whether these women really are ignorant to a human growing in their bellies or if it’s just because a plead of ignorance is a better excuse than an admission of being terrified and unable to face the facts, the show is the train I can’t stop watching.

Just My POV

This blog will just be my take on things happening in the world — some of which will be funny, some sad, serious, ridiculous… but hopefully interesting.

A little about me: I am a late 20’s woman (the big 3-0 is quickly approaching, despite my efforts to ignore its huge, pink elephant-y presence in every room I’m in), from Los Angeles, but now living in NYC (I know, traitor!). I work in marketing in Manhattan and pretty much lead a typical (yawn) life. I am always talking the ears off my friends and family, and have been encouraged on more than one occasion, to just write it down. So here is my attempt.

I hope you enjoy it, feel free to comment — I won’t take it personally, hey, it’s just your opinion :).